The Blues VII

Image: Cláudio Dias Timm
Porphyrospiza caerulescens

Uh oh! It's that time of year again when all looks lost, all looks cold, all looks... blue. Blue Monday strikes again. The attic groans under the weight of Christmas decorations already laden with a thin layer of dust. Christmas gifts have lost their lustre and joined the rest of your belongings as mere possessions cluttering your life. And if you don't follow through with your New Year's resolutions this time, you'll have to get a new Christmas jumper to ease over that ever-expanding belly.

But worry not! Or continue worrying, just be sure to do it with friends. Friends like the Blue Finch.

Orange Pore Fungus

Image: epitree
Favolaschia calocera

They call it the Orange Pore Fungus but in my heart, it will always be the Waffle on a Stick.

Doesn't it look like the perfect breakfast snack?

The Blues VI

Image: Bernard DUPONT
Corythaeola cristata

It's Blue Monday! Mathematically proven to be the most depressing day of the year by qualified PR professionals who believe the best way to defeat it is with a holiday package bought from their clients. But there's no defeating it. It looms. It impends. It soon comes to a dark night of the soul near YOU! And there are no holidays from one's own soul.

Shaggy Scarlet Cup

Image: Kathie Hodge
Microstoma floccosum

Did you know Santa Claus had his own range of bespoke cups?

I sure didn't.

Image: Patrick Harvey
Line 'em up, drink 'em down

They don't have 'Best Father Christmas in the World' written on the side, or even 'Only Father Christmas in the World'. No. They have fur, instead!

That's... inconvenient. It looks nice, though. And Christmas is nothing if not the season for inconvenient things that look nice.

Image: Dan Molter

Santa's little mulled wineglass is the Shaggy Scarlet Cup, a mushroom found in parts of North America and Asia. They grow on rotting logs and sticks on the forest floor.

If you'd like to give Santa a nice surprise and leave the milk in his favourite tumbler alongside the cookies, you may be interested to know that they particularly enjoy half-buried branches of oak.

Image: Dan Molter

The cup reaches less than 1 cm (0.4 in) across and rests on top of a stalk about 1 to 5 cm (0.4 to 2 inches) tall.

Perfect for your favourite, Christmas tipple!

Bonnet Mould

Image: Mike Kempenich
Spinellus fusiger

It sounds like some terrible blight that might have struck Victorian Europe, destroying ladies headgear and leading to a devastating rise in the price of fashionable hats.

Pentagrammatical Décor of the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we kick the bucket with death, kick our heels with darkness, and kick angelic beings in the shins with evil! Woo!

Ladder Lichen

Image: Richard Droker
Cladonia verticillata

It's the very latest development in pixie architecture...

The Blues IV

Image: Ted

Uh oh! It's that time of year again - Blue Monday! The worst Monday of them all.

Call Forth the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we listen for the lifting of coffin lids with death, eavesdrop on the whispering chants of mournful forests with darkness and hear the lamentation of our enemies as we drive them before us and crush their women with evil. Woo!

Behold Death. He's taken up gardening. Or so he claims. I don't think he's supposed to bury the seeds 6 feet deep. And aren't you meant to take them off the tree first?

Here be Darkness. She's teaching the ghouls how to cook. It's quite easy because the ghouls eat raw meat but her three-tier offal cake with carved bone colonnade is quite a sight!

Yonder is Evil. He's dressed up in a long, white robe with a little cardboard halo fixed onto his head with a piece of wire. He does that every year but it's hilarious every time!
Let's see who joined the party this year!

Cannonball Fungus

Image: Malcolm Storey, bioimages.org.uk

It's the KABOOM mushroom!

Bird's Nest Fungus

Image: Monica R.

Teeny bird nests with tiny eggs in! Are the fairies raising chickens now?

The Blues III

Image: JJ Harrison

It's the most mis'rable time of the year!
When your tears are upwelling
And everyone's telling you be of good cheer
It's the most mis'rable time of the year!

The Trees Have Beards

Image: Richard Droker

Just in time for Christmas... free beards for all! They grow on trees, you know.

Thrice-damned Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Hallowe'en! That time of year when we trip the light phantasmic with death, trip and fall with darkness and "accidentally" trip and fall while holding a knife inappropriately in a crowded area with evil. Woo!

Behold Death. He's trying out a clown costume this year. He's really enjoying the red wig. I've never seen anyone put so much hair gel on a wig before! He needed every drop to comb it into the shape of his own scythe. He says he might laminate it!

Here be Darkness. She's taken up baking cupcakes and brought some along for us to try. They're delicious! They practically stand up and walk right into my mouth of their own accord. In fact, the legs are my favourite bit!

Yonder is Evil. He's dressed up in a long, white robe with a little cardboard halo fixed onto his head with a piece of wire. He does that every year but it's hilarious every time!

Let's take a look at some of the ghosts and ghouls who haunt our world all year round:

Earthstar

Image: Tatiana Bulyonkova
Fringed Earthstar (Geastrum fimbriatum)

It sounds like a cult, 1950's sci-fi show, but it looks more like a prop from a cult, 1950's sci-fi show!

Cookeina Mushroom

Image: Geoff Gallice

Fairy bath!

Shaggy Mane

Image: inyucho
Coprinus comatus

My favourite name for this mushroom is Lawyer's Wig, but this cranial accoutrement has a use-by date. Perhaps you thought all lawyer's wigs were past their use-by date... apparently not.

The Blues II

Image: Pierre Dalous
Alcedo atthis

I hope you're feeling suitably miserable and depressed in preparation of tomorrow's solemnities!

It's Blue Monday! Mathematically proven by some PR guy to be the most miserable day of the year because it's cold, Christmas is gone and you've already failed your New Year's resolution to stop being such a horrible failure.

Yaaaaay!


Of course, there are creatures out there who are blue all year round. They do quite well on it, too.

White Coral

Ramariopsis kunzei

Wouldn't it be odd to stumble upon a glistening white coral as you wander through the woods? As if, just before you got there, the whole forest was a tropical reef and you discovered one of the stragglers left behind by the change.

Return of the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Hallowe'en! That time of year when we play snakes 'n' ladders with death, peek-a-boo with darkness and rock, paper, Armageddon with evil. Fun!

Behold Death. He's stripped to the waist to show off his brand new array of internal organs. He looks great! At least 3 or 4,000 years younger! The surgeon says he can choose some skin in a few weeks, maybe even an eyeball!

Here be Darkness. Her flower arranging has really come on leaps and bounds this year. She's taken a very important step and decided not to paint all the flowers entirely black. We now have one crimson petal peeking out from the shadows. She says it's a revelation!

Yonder is Evil. He's dressed up in a long, white robe with a little cardboard halo fixed onto his head by a piece of wire. He does that every year but it's hilarious every time!

But some creatures don't need to dress up in a long, white robe to be scary. They don't need clothes at all. They're entirely NAKED! All the time! Let's go see!