Real Monstrosities: July 2013

Wednesday 31 July 2013

Anteater

There are four kinds of mammal in the world: Rodents, who are the annoying ones; Carnivores, who are the scary ones; Ungulates, who are the tasty ones; and everything else, who are the weird ones.

Ghost Pipefish

Image: Nick Hobgood

Gosh! Ghosts have sure gotten funky lately! I don't think I have any bedsheets like this... yet. Looks like haunting my neighbours is going to be a carnival from now on!

Two-spotted Spider Mite

Image: Gilles San Martin
Tetranychus urticae

It's not a pretty sight when a mite gets mighty...

Uh oh! It's that time again. That time when we, the mighty vertebrates, must visit the modern representatives of a cadet branch that stretches back to time immemorial. It's full of spineless malcontents, many of whom have descended into a life of crime and manual labour but, in our beneficence, we shall oblige them with a visitation.

Cone Snail

Image: NOAA

WHEN SNAILS KILL!

Spoonwing

Image: Muchaxo

I'm hoping a Spoonwing is an intelligent spoon who will fly to me when I have a tub of ice cream but forgot to bring a spoon. But it could just be someone throwing a spoon at my head.

Cownose Ray

Image: juan.aguere

It's the hilarious new sitcom everyone's talking about!

Ray is a rich man with a time consuming job who neglects his wife and children because he cares more about money than he does about his wife and children.

When a witch turns his nose into a cow's nose, Ray is forced to reevaluate his prejudice against poor people and women he doesn't find sexually attractive.

Join Ray on his heart-warming journey of self discovery as he battles his inner bastard and tries to become a nice person.

You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll point at his stupid face!

Cownose Ray!

Pipefish

Image: Rita Bellinger

Pipefish are essentially Seahorses who got their hunchback straightened out. And for this terrible lack of deformity they must suffer in obscurity while their mangled cousins hog the limelight.