Fanfin Angler

Image: Rebikoff-Niggeler Foundation
Caulophryne jordani

SPOTTED: Reclusive Fanfin Angler and her latest beau step out for a romantic lure-lit dinner.

She doesn't appear pleased.

Bony-eared Assfish

Image: Royal BC Museum
Acanthonus armatus

Now, that's just rude.

Glass Finger

Image: NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2015 Hohonu Moana

Have you heard of the glass delusion?

Deep Sea Valentines

Image: NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program, INDEX-SATAL 2010

It's the perfect Valentine's gift: a beautiful bouquet of red blobs!

Cold Sea Balloon... OF DEATH!

It's a drawstring bag of death! It's a bin liner of doom!

No, it's... er...

Cloak of the Vampire Squid

All other vampires are jealous of the Vampire Squid's beautiful, silky cloak.

A Sponge is Never Alone

Image: NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2015 Hohonu Moana

After that weird forest of sponges, I thought it would be nice to see the other side of the story.

That's right, soul-crushing loneliness! Like if you looked into the abyss and it didn't just look back, it grabbed you by the ankle, pulled you into itself and said, "Make yourself at home. If you can."

Don't Smell the Roses

Remember how hard-working, deep sea sponges look like satellite dishes and mouths-on-sticks?

It's important to note that that's just part of the story. Another part of the story involves the flowers... OF DEATH.

Forest of the Weird

Well, if you call it a Forest of the Weird you know my interest will be piqued. I love a weird forest. Whether it's a mushroom forest, a flesh-eating forest or a forest where all the trees wake up at night to dance in the moonlight, I'm all about weird forests.

So how about a nice underwater sponge forest? Yes, please!

Veils From the Crypt

Video: Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI)

Cryptic monsters... undercover horrors... sleeper creepers... From the monsters under the bed to the ghosts in the attic, the vampire on the board of directors to the werewolf in the historical reenactment society, there's no getting away from them. Is your paperboy a ghoul? Is your sister-in-law a zombie? Are you absolutely sure you're not a fish-person?

March of the Firesocks

Firesocks! Sea Pickles! More to the point, Pyrosomes!

And a LOT of them.

Bubble Gum Oasis

It's a Bubble Gum Coral!

Isn't it beautiful? Sort of? Underneath it all, maybe?

Horror At Arms

Uh oh. Do you have a couch handy to hide behind? A teddy bear to cuddle? One of those Men In Black flashy things that make you forget everything you've just seen?

You might want one or two of these.

Snot Living

Look at that beautiful house!

If you find yourself saying, "'s'not a house," then you're close. It's a snot house.

Eyelashes Onna Stick

Image: NOAA Photo Library
Actinoscyphia sp.

The Venus Flytrap Anemone is 100% pure eyelashes!

Chiroteuthis

Image: NOAA

Chiroteuthis is MOSTLY tentacles. Glad to see they've got their priorities in order!

Unidentified Floating Object 2.0

Wow! Such light, such colour, such glorious delicate tentacles...

Video: oceanexplorergov

The space aliens really need to up their game if they don't want to be outdone by the UFOs of the sea!

Satanic Devil Fish

I don't know what this actual demon from Hell thinks he's playing at...

Video: oceanexplorergov

But he's fooling no-one.

Strawberry Squid

Histioteuthis heteropsis

You've seen werewolves versus vampires. You've marvelled at Alien versus Predator. You've wondered what on earth is going on at zombies versus Jane Austen. Now it's time to quake in your boots at the thought of...

Terminator versus Cthulhu!

Deep Sea Dragonfish

Image: Fran Martín de la Sierra

My name is Deep Sea Dragonfish, eater of worlds.

Look on my face, ye Mighty, and despair!