Aspidistra

Image: scott.zona

Aspidistras are famous for their ability to withstand and even flourish under the kind of neglect that would usually end in the crinkly, brown-leafed death of most plants.

But that's no excuse for neglecting their absolutely amazing flowers!

The Blues VII

Image: Cláudio Dias Timm
Porphyrospiza caerulescens

Uh oh! It's that time of year again when all looks lost, all looks cold, all looks... blue. Blue Monday strikes again. The attic groans under the weight of Christmas decorations already laden with a thin layer of dust. Christmas gifts have lost their lustre and joined the rest of your belongings as mere possessions cluttering your life. And if you don't follow through with your New Year's resolutions this time, you'll have to get a new Christmas jumper to ease over that ever-expanding belly.

But worry not! Or continue worrying, just be sure to do it with friends. Friends like the Blue Finch.

Seventh Seal of the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we eat humble pie with death, eat a whole bottle of bitter pills with darkness and eat lead with evil. Woo!

Lamb's Ear

Image: Jean-Pol GRANDMONT
Stachys byzantina

Did you ever hear of the mythical sheep-eating plant?

Well, it turns out there's one plant that's only in it for the ears...

Chinese Lantern

Image: Isfugl

The Chinese Lantern is a hardy perennial that will provide you with all the natural, biodegradable paper lanterns you could ever want!

Snowplant

Image: David Iliff
Sarcodes sanguinea

In the months of spring, mysterious spikes of bloody flesh point to the sky.

Lipstick Tree

Image: Joan Simon
Bixa orellana

Money doesn't grow on trees, you know. But free, all-natural lipstick does!

And the Number of the Hallowe'en Horrors is 666

Its Halloween! That time of year when we draw black waters from the well of cosmic truth with death, draw deep breaths of chill, grave-leaden mist with darkness, and draw white, chalk outlines around corpses in the alleyway with evil. Woo!

Behold Death. He's wearing his Loch Ness Monster costume this year. Basically it's a dark green robe, a dark green handle for his scythe and a kind of lizard mask on the blade. It looks great and boy is he committed to the role. We've been trying to get him out of the swimming pool for hours!

Here be Darkness. She's been trying to teach the zombies about the miraculous power of make-up. I don't think it's going too well. Lipstick is supposed to stick to lips, not the other way round. There's bits of face everywhere!

Yonder is Evil. He's dressed up in a long, white robe with a little cardboard halo fixed onto his head with a piece of wire. He does that every year but it's hilarious every time!

Gnome Plant

Image: Tab Tannery
Hemitomes congestum

Gnomes are well-known for their love of mushrooms. They sit on them, play fiddle on them, fish in the lawn from them. And judging from those hippy beards and the fact they so often try to catch fish in the lawn, they probably eat some carefully selected ones, too.

So you know their special plant is going to be odd.

Queen of the Andes

Image: inyucho
Puya raimondii

*pew pew*

Commander Humperdinck grimaced as he fired photon-rockets from his shoulder mounted, heavy light-bazooka. White trails arced over the carnage of the Andesian Royal Hall and exploded into multi-coloured sparks that sent vegetable men sprawling in all directions. The hall filled with the stench of vegetarian roast dinner.

Bottle Tree

Image: bathyporeia
Pachypodium lealii

Desert plants like this are definitely my favourites. In their effort to survive the arid conditions, they end up looking like they long since succumbed to them.

Grandidier’s Baobab

Image: Bernard Gagnon
Adansonia grandidieri

Is that tree doing a handstand?

Bleeding Heart

Image: Dendroica cerulea
Lamprocapnos spectabilis

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Pentagrammatical Décor of the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we kick the bucket with death, kick our heels with darkness, and kick angelic beings in the shins with evil! Woo!

Ladder Lichen

Image: Richard Droker
Cladonia verticillata

It's the very latest development in pixie architecture...

Monkey Cacao

Image: Andreas Kay

Monkey Cacao? Isn't there rather more of the squid about this one?

The Blues IV

Image: Ted

Uh oh! It's that time of year again - Blue Monday! The worst Monday of them all.

Tiger Jaws

Image: Mike Keeling
Faucaria tigrina

You weren't planning on visiting the greenhouse were you?

Fairy Lantern, Thismia

Image: Tindo2

A tiny, wondrous cheat? Or a glimpse into fairy biotechnology?

Call Forth the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we listen for the lifting of coffin lids with death, eavesdrop on the whispering chants of mournful forests with darkness and hear the lamentation of our enemies as we drive them before us and crush their women with evil. Woo!

Behold Death. He's taken up gardening. Or so he claims. I don't think he's supposed to bury the seeds 6 feet deep. And aren't you meant to take them off the tree first?

Here be Darkness. She's teaching the ghouls how to cook. It's quite easy because the ghouls eat raw meat but her three-tier offal cake with carved bone colonnade is quite a sight!

Yonder is Evil. He's dressed up in a long, white robe with a little cardboard halo fixed onto his head with a piece of wire. He does that every year but it's hilarious every time!
Let's see who joined the party this year!