Friday 6 February 2015

Horned Wood Lizard

Image: Andreas Schlüter
Enyalioides palpebralis
DISAPPOINTED

This Demon came highly recommended to me by an old man from Bolivia I met at the big convention in Ingolstadt in Bavaria. I have anger-management issues and enjoy revenge as a hobby so I was excited to get home and set up the circle. I'm friends with my local butcher so quality blood is no problem for me and I am VERY EXPERIENCED!!!!

Image: Erfil
I did the spell and while the smoke cleared I thought something had gone wrong but then I looked properly and there he was. A tiny thing on the floor! The Bolivian man said he would be at least four feet tall but he's not. He's tiny.

I once got a 8 foot tall Demon who was rubbish so I thought maybe he was still powerful but he was SO lazy. He just sat around doing nothing and every time I asked him to do something he shouted at me and made fun of my accent and my face.

Image: Laurie Vitt
And then he ate all my food and stayed in my house until the next full moon. He smelled so bad and the smell gets everywhere and stays there so I had to get new clothes.

Am I missing something? Maybe he's really good if you get him in Bolivia but for me he's horrible. I would give him zero stars if I could but it has to be at least one.

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3 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

funky little menace!

Porakiya said...

Reminds me of one of my half sisters XD

Joseph JG said...

@Crunchy: Thanks! And yeah, he looks like a furious little imp.

@TexWisGirl: Yup, just look at that face!

@Porakiya Draekojin: Hahaha! I couldn't possibly comment!