New Caledonian Giant Gecko

Image: Smithsonian's National Zoo
Rhacodactylus leachianus

Probably the biggest gecko in the world!

Bell's Forestdragon

Image: Bernard DUPONT
Gonocephalus bellii

Did you know there were DRAGONS in certain parts of Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand?

Weapontail

Image: Laurie Vitt
Hoplocercus spinosus

Also known as the Brazilian Spiny-tailed Lizard but that's way less fun!

Weapontails are fairly ordinary lizards from head to toe... but then there's that weapons-grade tail! Short, stubby and abominably spiky. Even their scientific name gets in on the act - Hoplocercus comes from the Greek for "armour" and "tail" while spinosus means "thorny". You got that right!

Weapontails live in dry habitats in parts of Brazil and Bolivia where they feast on insects and retire to underground burrows. When threatened, they run head first into those burrows and use their battle-butt to dissuade predators from poking their heads in.

It'd work on me!

Horned Wood Lizard

Image: Andreas Schlüter
Enyalioides palpebralis

DISAPPOINTED

The Blues IV

Image: Ted

Uh oh! It's that time of year again - Blue Monday! The worst Monday of them all.

Spiny-tailed Lizard

Image: 4028mdk09

Call that a tail?

THIS is a tail.

Goldentail Gecko

Image: Dave Fleming
Strophurus taenicauda

Wow! Look at this beauty! That black and silver scale pattern would make for a sweet tie. Maybe a pair of shoes to go with it. Maybe a suit, too. And a couch? Carpets? Duvet cover!

That'd be one sassy bachelor pad.

Rhinoceros Viper

Image: Josh More
Bitis nasicornis

Vipers already have two long, sharp things sticking out of their upper jaw, so what do they need with yet more sticking out of their snout?

So unfair!

Chinese Crocodile Lizard

Image: spacebirdy
Shinisaurus crocodilurus

Hey, look! It's a Chinese Crocodile Lizard!

...

He blinked!

Asian Vine Snake

Image: Bernard DUPONT

It's Tarzan's worst nightmare! It looks like a long, green vine, just perfect for the swinging, but it's actually a long, green, venomous SNAKE!

No wonder the poor guy's always screaming and crying.

Rubber Boa

Image: Natalie McNear
Charina bottae

It's a boa that looks like it's made of rubber! Sort of acts like it, too.

Arabian Sand Boa

Image: Omid Mozaffari
Eryx jayakari

This has got to be the derpiest herp in the world!

Blind Lizard

Image: Brown, Rafe

Here's an opportunity to impress your friends with your astonishing knowledge of a creature no-one has ever heard of! You could even start a rumour that its salivary glands hold the cure to wrinkled skin disease but the skincare-industrial complex keeps it under wraps. Who's to know?

Burton's Snake Lizard

Image: Matt
Lialis burtonis

What do you think of when you hear the word "gecko"? Feet, yes? Big eyes and big, sticky feet. Spiderman with a tail.

Rules, however, are made to be broken.

Spectacled Lizard

Image: Esteban Alzate
Bachia bicolor

Here we go again! The tempestuous, on-again-off-again relationship between lizards and their own legs continues. What a saga!

Lined Leaf-tail Gecko

Image: David d'O
Uroplatus lineatus

I'm no carpenter, but this looks like a fine piece of wood. Just perfect for carving a little model aeroplane or a few hundred thousand toothpicks.

Blind Snake

Image: Jonathan Hakim
Desert Blind Snake (Leptotyphlops humilis cahuilae)

There are two kinds of snake in the world: Blind Snakes and "other".

The Blues III

Image: JJ Harrison

It's the most mis'rable time of the year!
When your tears are upwelling
And everyone's telling you be of good cheer
It's the most mis'rable time of the year!

Florida Worm Lizard

Image: Mary Keim
Rhineura floridana

It's a worm but it's a lizard but it's a worm!

Tentacled Snake

Image: Josh More
Erpeton tentaculatum

A snake... TENTACLED?! Does it scurry across the floor like a scaly centipede on dozens of tentacle-legs? Does it grab hold of prey and squeeze the life out of it with dozens of tentacle-arms? Does it repeatedly inject venom by the gallon with dozens of hypodermic tentacle-fangs?